We didn't, so we took it straight to the source and asked a bunch of squirrels.
(Silly squirrel! What were you thinking?)
Yes, all we got from them was a bunch of useless chatter.
Not wanting to let the question burn itself out, we turned to some of the world's greatest minds. Clearly, that wasn't such a good idea, either.
Desperate in our quest, we locked ourselves in and ordered take-out to stay alive. There we sat, 24/7/52, willing the question to give us it's answer. But all that happened was that the question just sat there and stared right back. (After all, it's only a question.)
So what do you do with a question like that? You toss it out and wait to see what comes back.
“Why did the squirrel cross the road?”
“Because the car swerved to miss it.”
- Jess Dunn, Baltimore, Maryland, US
“He was enticed by the big, shiny nut! Fulfilling our most basic needs is the driving force in our lives. After that, curiosity and the need for adventure push us to take risks.”
- Claire Ibarra, Key Biscayne, Florida, US
- CB Calsing, New Orleans, Louisiana
“He lost his nuts. He saw it on Youtube. He was riding the chicken. Because if chickens can do it, squirrels can do it, by God.”
- Eric Trant, The Colony, Texas, US
“To retrieve its nuts from the other side. “
- Terry Sanville, San Luis Obispo, California, US
“In addition to being an aspiring author, I am also an expert in squirrel behavior, having obtained my Ph.D. in Sciuridae Psychologe from
“Because he was stapled to a chicken. Duh.”
“Our hero squirrel crossed the road after a perilous journey across the park. So close was the single tree pockmarked with the nuts that he could almost feel the rough cap that topped them, the smooth sides that protected the center. His nose twitched before that tree loomed above him, ready and willing to become his new home. Oh...wait...was this a serious question?”
“To bust a nut.”
“The squirrel crossed the road for the same reasons we do. Either something it wanted was on the other side or something it wanted to get away from was on this side. Maybe he had a "babe" squirreled away across the road, and lust beckoned. Perhaps his "spousal unit" got on his case so often he felt she was chewing his nuts off, and he decided to hit the road. Kind of like us. One rodent behaves pretty much like another.”
- William Walton, Corpus Christi, Texas, US
So, now ... DON'T BE SHY ... why do you think the squirrel crossed the road? We’d like to hear your answer! Leave a comment or send your answer to email@example.com.
If we like it, we’ll post it.
Please let us know what city/state/country you are writing from.